First and fore most I found out how little I was actually using it. Here as an adult coming to the realization that you have not really been using your heart after all. You were using your head, because you were taught to. Not one directed you to your heart until now. They may have mentioned like a "howdy-do-you-do" said in passing. But not any real direction to how to make the migration. The funny thing is this exact thing is mentioned in the Holy Scriptures. Where we can find ourselves in a land not our own. This land does not have to actual be land, although it was also. Figuratively any place where you play, live and work for most of your life. That land is that same land "that was not our own". A destination our minds moved to that was far away from our hearts. All of sudden things that didn't and wouldn't possibly make sense to us suddenly did. The "outsiders" that we listened to told us it was all due to growth and change only to hide that it was not.
Being "put on" was nothing but another way to leave you out. It was only for introductory purposes and when the initial phase was over. It wasn't about you but about someone else everyone else, as long as they looked like you thought it was for us. Yeah, they were not like you thought. Albeit nice look alike, and act like.
Being "Down" was just that being down. No upward out of the box thinking. Herd mentality where everyone acted, dressed and did the same thing. Thinking themselves to be different. As different as two different clear sodas.
Proverbs 16:2
All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the LORD weighted the spirits.
How fitting it is for man to teach thusly that there is no such thing as spirit. In this way he is fully justified in all his doings and dealings. In this place of course Gods thoughts, messages and teachers; Ideals, teachings, and truths seem so patently outrageous and cruel. After being like a kid left in a candy store after hours. When the son come up. There's only the tummy ache and the desire to reconnect with the parents once thought to be cruel and harsh, now longed for.
A funny thing I learned on the way to my heart.